20 Years, how fast it seems to go by...

When I think about 20 years I think "wow that is such a long time."  However, now that I sit back and think about how quickly 20 years has almost seemed to have flown by, it is such a weird feeling.  January 29 marked twenty years since the day that my Dad passed away from cancer.  This passed Sunday it crossed my mind quite a few times that it was that same day twenty years ago that I lost someone who is such a big part of most people's lives.  I was only 6 years old when he passed away and I don't have too many memories of him but there are a few that I've managed to hold on to.  I remember that I used to like to take a nap on top of his chest and I remember trying to breath at the same rate he did and listening to his heartbeat.  I also remember just having a feeling of such love for him and that I was a little bit of a daddy's girl. :)  We planted a tree up in the mountains and spread his ashes around the tree after he passed away because his favorite place to be was the mountains.  Every year my Mom liked to try and make a trip up there to visit the tree and see how it handled the winter.  I love to go up there and be out in the middle of the forest, it has always brought such a calming feeling over me.  I think that I got some of my love of the mountains and the outdoors from him.  I always feel such peace when I am up there around his tree.  I hope that it is somewhere I'll always be able to come back to and feel that feeling. 

On Sunday I took some time to sit down and just think about the past twenty years(what a long time) and all that has happened in my life. and what he wasn't able to be here for.  When I was little there was the school performances and family vacations.  Then as I grew up there was all the "fun" teenage years, learning to drive, going to dances, dating, falling in love, graduating high school and college, getting married, buying a house, getting divorced, finding out who I am and where I want to go in my life, not to mention all the other "smaller" events.  Through every great up I've had I always remember thinking about him and wishing he was there to see me accomplish and do the things I wanted to do but somehow I also always felt that he was there cheering me on in the silence.  Through every down that I've gone through I always wished that I had him there to help pick me back up (and maybe kick some people's butts haha) but again I knew somehow he was there giving me the encouragement to get back up and move on.  Even though he wasn't able to physically be there I am so thankful I had my amazing Mom to be there for me.  She has been there through all my great ups and downs and I honestly don't know what I would have done or who I would be without her.  I've had some of the greatest family and friends that have also been there for me who I would never trade for anything. 

It has definitely not been easy growing up without my Dad in my life but at the same time I don't know anything different and it has just become a part of my life.  I love that when I think of him I can remember the good times and I do not have any bad memories.  There are pictures and videos that I can thankfully look at and those help also.  I felt like I wanted to write about him in my blog because even though he doesn't come up in many of my conversations his memory is still always in my heart and mind.  I'm thankful that I was able to be his little girl for 6 years and to have those memories with me forever. 

Michael Stephen Franich 7/21/1951-1/29/1992

"Don't think of him as gone away- his journeys just begun, life holds so many facets-this earth is only one.  Just think of him as resting from the sorrows and the tears in a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.  Think how he must be wishing that we could know today how nothing but our sadness can really pass away.  And think of him as living in the hearts of those he touched... for nothing loved is ever lost- and he was loved so much."